What’s scientific outside of the psychology, behind how much shit voters will swallow before they notice? The science part, it’s really only about how to win. Not how to govern, not how to make anybody better, just how to win. No matter how stupid or two-faced or criminal you look.

Give me an example.

OK. Like presidential candidates now. They announce their candidacy by standing in front of an audience and saying they will not run for president. You know?

Yeah.

What is that shit?

It’s as old as time.

No, I don’t think so, cos… OK, you had me when we were studying the old philosophers. The Greeks… I mean, Doc, you… you had me. They were awesome. But somewhere… somewhere you lost me. I don’t know.

Have you ever been to Greece?

No.

No, otherwise you’d know their government makes ours look like a vision of the future.

Well, isn’t that my point? Socrates, Plato, Aristotle. If they can’t fix things, what is Todd Hayes gonna do? Bitch? Quit? I’m gonna pay my taxes. I’m gonna obey traffic lights…

That’s super. I was thinking about something bigger.

Something bigger? Bigger like what? Like, be a congressman bigger?

Well, that’s bigger.

Oh, yeah. Super. I get to be one of those turds in DC - and I do mean pure pieces of shit - who make our laws? I get to be a doughboy who parts his hair like everyone else? The guy who never says anything though he never stops talking. Do I get to be the guy who lectures you on morality while a page jacks me off under the table? Oh, yeah, please. The guy who funnels away a million and bawls like an evangelist when he’s caught. And how many never get caught, Doc? Hey, if that’s something bigger than being a good Joe with a good job, fuck it.